Friday, December 24, 2010

Merry Christmas!

I don't know that I will have time to blog during the next few days.  It's a flurry of activity here.  I finished my first Crochete project, a scarf for my son.  I used Baby Alpaca yarn and it is so soft.  The design is a little goofy, but he loves it.  Hey, it was my first try.  I'm glad I finished it in a few weeks.  Maybe one day I'll finish the afghan I've been working on for my brother, I only started it about 12 years ago. (blush) 
I also made a stocking for my little boy.  I love to create patchwork stockings, they are so much fun to make. I made my husband one right after we were married, and used the "printable fabric" to add pictures of ourselves to the stocking.  It turned out really well.  My darling husband said, "You did not, just make, that stocking today." after I showed him our sons stocking.  I said, yes I did.  I cut the squares out a couple days ago and put it all together today.  Hubby told me he really liked it and to make one for myself, from him. I'm not sure how that works, exactly, but it's a nice thought....for him.  Ha ha ha.
The Bell Tower
My baby boy has been trying to make a tower out of blocks for a long time.  He gets very frustrated when it falls down and wants me to come help him.  I couldn't today so I told him to calm down then try again. I also pointed out he was trying to build it on carpet which is not very solid, a smooth flat surface would be better.  He's 3, so I thought maybe I was speaking over his head (even though we had been through this before).  Next thing I know, he's running in to tell me he did it! He built a tower!  I followed him into the living room to see it.  Not only did he build a tower, but he put a bell on top.  It is still standing right now.  What a happy kid he was.  I am so proud of him for trying and persevering. Kids can always surprise us.  We must never think a child does not understand, thereby giving us an excuse not to explain.  Clearly, he understood me.  Clearly he reasoned it all out, with much success.   Clearly, he understands more than I give him credit for.  Shame on me, and may I learn from this.  I see it so often, even in myself, children not getting the respect they deserve.  "Because I said so." is not an explanation.  Although I have used it, I try not to, but after 50 "why?"s regarding a matter that I've explained as simply and in depth as I can, "because I said so." is all I can manage.  I have been tempted to say it many times when I'm too tired, or frustrated to explain.  That's just laziness, and not acceptable.  We should give our children the respect we want from them and from others.  If you don't take time to talk to your child, explain things to them, believe that they can and will understand what you're saying, then we're raising children who won't know HOW to talk to their kids. They won't know how to communicate with others either, for that matter.  If all they hear is, "not now", "because I said so", "go watch t.v.", what are they really hearing?  Not now; "you are not important so go away." Because I said so, "you are to dumb to understand why, you are not important enough for me to take the time to explain, I really don't want to be bothered with you right now." Go watch t.v.; "I don't want you around me, you are a bad person leave, you are in trouble."  Children are self absorbed until around the age of 5 or 6 when they start to learn that the world actually doesn't revolve around them. They automatically think that everything is about them.  Perfect example, I was wrapping presents and my son saw me put some under the tree.  He exclaims, "what did you get me! Those are all my presents!"  I told him they weren't, some belonged to Daddy.  He insisted they were all his.  After several explanations that Daddy gets presents too, and no matter how sweet my son is, not everything is for him.  He has to share and not be selfish.  He sort of got it, but he's a work in progress too.  He then wanted to know if I'd wrapped a present for fat cat Tye.  "Not yet", I told him.  Then he was off to tell the cat what a good boy he is.  How easily the young mind switches gears.  It's not very fair to require our children to speak respectfully to us, when we don't do the same for them.  Children learn more from what they see, than by what they hear.  I've learned a lot about myself by seeing him do things I do.  By hearing him say things I say.  It's a HUGE lesson in humility, and I pray that I am able to learn it.   I guess my recipe for tonight is, Love.  Let's love our children enough to take the time to teach them, "why".  To teach them how to properly communicate with others.  To teach them, by our actions, that they ARE important.  To teach them that we can't always stop to play, but sometimes we CAN stop to play.  It's important that they know you will do what you say you will.  For instance, if I tell him he has to go to bed with no story for misbehaving, then I must stand by that.  No matter how bad I feel, because his little heart is broken.  I am his mother, not his best friend, one day, but not right now.  We have to respect them, teach them to live by the golden rule from the Bible.  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  Do you want your child to bite your head off when you ask him what he's doing? Would it make you feel good to sit down to play with him and he tells you to, "go watch t.v." or asks, "don't you have something you can do?".  Think about that next time you wave off your childs efforts to spend time with you, or talk to you.  It's a lesson, a recipe, I am still learning how to make. 

"For unto us is born this day, in the city of David, a child who is Christ the Lord."  Happy Birthday Jesus!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

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